Free Writing: sweet and sour

The best writing advice I ever got was to just write. Don’t worry about what you will say or what you will miss out. The focus is simple in writing and putting something down. And here I am right now doing just that in the basement in the Bronx. The walls are egg shell white or some foreign yellow. Since the lights are partially off I’m stuck in this yellow cake cave. The refrigerator is humming in the background; I think it always does that. I wonder what the fridge would be saying right now if it could talk. What words would it utter? Would its voice be a deep baritone or would it shrill like a high soprano. When I think of a fridge I think of masculinity so it would sort of be wrong to give the fridge female characteristics unless it was a dyke or something, with a deep raspy voice from smoking cigarettes and lung cancer. It would have to be that way. As I peer over my shoulder and look at the oven, I’d name the white oven sallie or some shit like that. And now I can’t not think of sallie mae and the bailout, will our government for once help the little guys. I guess that is why Obama has been elected even though it seems like it would have been not wrong, but something deep down in my mind; maybe it’s because I’m black, but it seems as though since most of the people in this country are white, and maybe this thought might be construed or seem ignorant, I just felt like the white people would not elect him because of fear and because he’s black and we live in a white world. Or maybe it’s because I have lived in a white world/white environment most of my life and I continually see the prejudices that’s locked in between the passing of glancing eyes which lets me know how things are, but it seems like things are changing. Now since Obama has been elected hope has been reinvigorated into the black community. I guess this is why they call America the land of opportunity, while in my life at times it may seem like the land of make belief. I’m probably just taking what I have for granted, I wish I could apologize to myself sometimes for thinking this, but fuck it this is how I feel. The floor in this house needs to get done but that is going to cost money which no one has. I wonder what would happen if the war in Iraq actually occurred on our soil, would we be so sympathetic and passionate talking about our country and what is has done for us. Probably not. Patriotism has died long ago with the new blood that has entered our country. I don’t mean new races, cultures, and ethnicities. I mean the new perception of those that our being born in our country. We see things quite differently from our parent/counter parts. Maybe a part of the big gap between our views is simple because we have not seen and lived through a lot of the change that occurred in this country. Not too long ago, black people were slaves, and women couldn’t vote. We have come a long way but the journey has been short because there is so much that needs to be changed on a daily basis. America is probably one of the most diverse countries in the world but racism runs rampant like a disease that erodes and corrupts everything, rusting, leaving nothing but a whittled down peak of hope that tomorrow may be a better day. In Iraq they used to say tomorrow will be a better day, but now they say tomorrow will be worst than today. When will this happen to us, it is inevitable if history is to seamlessly repeat itself like it always seems to do. Some might say we are like the Greeks or the Romans, but this is just speculation, because we can only be ourselves. Sometimes it feels like we are living in Sodom and Gomorra but his is just NY on a Saturday night. We are still so young as a country, will we let religion and race be the destructive factors that dissemble the very cornerstone of our countries original ideals, who knows I’m no psychic. All I’m saying is that we are a young country and we have a long way to go. We don’t want to go in the direction of these other nations that are fighting over holy land and such because of religion or race or greed. The fact remains that we are all much more alike than we are different, forget about race, religion, and color; read some Claude Mckay. We are only a strong as our weakest citizen some may tell you, but the truth remains is that we are as weak as our government and that train is heading to the end of a cliff. It’s going to crash and burn and burst into a millions pieces, it is inevitable. Essentially, we just need to be there for each other and everything will be okay, because if I can help my bother in his time of need, maybe he can help me. Instead of being a country based on the wealth of the individual, we need to be a country based on the wealth of each person’s enrichment in concern to morals, and values and then we will live in a country where we all will be proud to call our home.